It's Thanksgiving! It occurred to me that everyone else was doing "grateful" lists so I should really be no different. I'm nothing if not a follower.

The Top Ten Things I'm Grateful For (notice I didn't say most grateful or anything silly like that--you're most grateful for any number of things depending on your mood i.e. in a desert you're most grateful for water, shade, and savior. In the middle of the ocean water doesn't really factor in. See what I mean?)

Top Ten Thanks

10. Electric Blankets

You won't really understand this one unless you know my parents house. There is no heat upstairs (or in some rooms downstairs) and so many years of my mother's menopause needing it to be cold has created a sort of heat vacuum. So when I come home, especially now that I've been sissified by the desert, I just accept that my hands and feet will be cold. That's where the electric blanket comes in. It's warm, it's cuddly, it makes my body feel all good and comforted. It's kind of like a lover that doesn't take up the bed or steal your covers since, you know, it is the cover.

9. T.V. on D.V.D.

I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for T.V. on DVD. Best invention EVER. Ever. Really. 24 episodes (approximately) of my favorite characters with no commercials. Storylines that are complex and over-arching. Best thing ever. Honest.

8. Beautiful People

I wanted to put Spartans on the list. But then I thought, if I'm going to include objectified men I should balance that out with wonderful people that are just great. And then I thought, screw it, I'll just say "beautiful people." I'm happy for people that are good and whose beauty shines from within as well as without. And yes, I am grateful for people that make their livings as actors in itty bitty teeny tiny little leather panties. I try to be a full and complex individual.

7. Duct Tape

Are any of us not thankful for Duct Tape? That's what I thought.

6. Chocolate Chip Cookies

Somewhere, sometime, someone looked at flour, sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla and thought "something great can be invented here." They were right, and I am a better person for it.

5. Books

They make me happy. They provide me with emotional fulfillment. They give me heroes and heroines that I love and adore. There's a reason I chose to make my living in literature.

4. Movies

Better than books cause they're shinier. There's picture, sound, and dialogue. And sometimes scantily clad barbarians saving babies and fighting for freedom.

3. Playtime Buddies

I'm implying masturbatory aids with this one. I trust the reasoning for thanks are self-explanatory (ah-ha-ha).

2. Indoor Plumbing

You know what's awesome? Not having to drop your pants in thirty degree weather. Or poop in a pan you throw out the window every night. There is no downside to this.

1. Controllable Crazy

This one might seem surprising, but as I look back on my life and my experiences I realized that I'm not "crazy" in the way some (or many) people are. And I'm not talking schizophrenic or bi-polar, though those count, but I don't have a personality disorder. I'm not wracked by anxiety, guilt, or depression. I control my life as much as I am able and generally don't drive people away...except for the crazy ones. So I wanted to take a minute and give thanks for that. I figure I need to love it up as much as I can for the next twenty years before menopause takes all semblance of control away from me.

So have a Happy Thanksgiving!