Top Ten Underdogs

The following is a list and explication of my top ten underdogs I would like to marry and have babies with. I was feeling a bit serious tonight, but nothing has percolated enough for a true rant so I share instead this delightful extension of my list. I offer you every girl’s favorite male hero, the underdog. He’s always getting punched, and usually for a woman, but some how he comes out on top in the end. And no other male characters manage to look quite so adorable getting beat up. There’s just something about the underdog that makes you want to take him home and put him to bed. So here are the ten I would most like to put in bed…and take home. As always, please discuss and add your own suggestions.


10. Casey Jones (TMNT)
Casey Jones caught me at a young age. I was into teenage mutant ninja turtles, and then there was a cute skater-type who beat up bad guys with a hockey stick. My young self was not prepared for that. He blindsided me with his adorableness and I sooooo wanted to be April. I even carried around a big yellow bag hoping to attract the real life equivalent. Oddly, it didn’t work.

9. Harry Dresden (Dresden Files)
This one might catch a few of you off-guard. Dresden Files is a new show on Sci-fi and Harry Dresden is my favorite underdog wizard for hire. He is in a constant state of being beat up, outmatched, love-scorned, and still kicking ass at the end of the day. That’s my kind of Merlin.

8. Captain Kirk (Star Trek)
Captain Kirk isn’t someone normally thought of when considering underdogs, but part of his charm is that he always wins. Despite staggering odds; despite his ship constantly getting the crap kicked out of it by friendly fire, time warp, or a klingon bird of prey that can fire while cloaked, Captain Kirk somehow manages to pull through. The reason he comes in at number eight is that while Captain Kirk may have been a stud back in the day, I grew up with him. That makes him kind of like a father figure. And that’s kinda gross.

7. Wolverine (X-Men)
Oh my first love--comic book love that is. He was too short, too hairy, and always hittin’ on Cyclops’ girl. I so wished I could be an X-Man because I was sure, as sure as a twelve year old could be, that all it would take was one look and Wolverine would kick Jean Grey to the curb and recognize the hotness that was me. Of course when I was twelve I had bad hair, glasses, buck teeth, and a penchant for Walmart clothes, but none of that would have mattered to Wolverine. He would have taught me the ways of the Samurai. Then we would have practiced, at length…in bed.

6. Constantine (Constantine)
I know, I know. Not everyone can appreciate the Keanu love. It isn’t easy. And why Constantine instead of Neo? Constantine is more of the consummate underdog. Poor guy is dying of lung cancer and doomed to go to hell. I’d say the odds are pretty stacked at that point. None of that stops him, though, from saving the girl’s sister, saving the girl, and saving the world. And he does it all while being Keanu--that’s talent man, serious talent. And serious talent deserves serious love.

5. Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones)
Oh come on, you knew it was coming. He wears a fedora, searches the world for artifacts--not to sell them, but to preserve them for posterity. What you’ve done there is trip my bad boy switch, my professor switch, and my action hero switch all at the same time. That means I’m pretty much in the “On” position every time Indiana appears. And he hates snakes. He might be the best guy ever--if only he would stay around after he found the treasure.

4. Rick O’Connell (The Mummy)
Not everyone loves on Brendan Fraser like they should either. But in true Indiana Jones style he makes those silly pants from the 1920’s look good while saving the world, saving the girl, and loving her for all eternity. Manly, funny, and dying to kiss you, he’s a man worth leaving the light on for.

3. Malcolm Reynolds (Serenity)
Joss Whedon apologized to all the watchers of Serenity for only offering one scene of Mal shirtless, and then only shooting Nathan Fillion from the collarbone up. But for two seconds you see Mal lying on the bed, tousled, sleepy, and shirtless and that might actually be the best thing ever. Even better than that though is Mal. Wounded but still deeply ideological, Malcolm Reynolds is a space pirate after my own heart. Not to mention he’s a cowboy, a pirate, AND a space captain. Does it get any better than that?

2. Han Solo (Star Wars)
“I love you.”
“I know.”

1. Bigby Wolf (Fables)
If you don’t know who Bigby Wolf is go to the nearest book store/comic book shop and pick up Fables. It is imperative that you do. He’s the big bad wolf, literally, but now he’s also a man. A wounded, honorable, noir man who just can’t help but love a woman out of his league (Snow White). I consider making a crass joke on huffing, puffing, and blowing things down but I’ll refrain. Instead I will simply ask, is it considered bestiality if you marry a werewolf? Even if it were, I’m not sure that stop me from loving Bigby Wolf.