In honor of Halloween I thought I would discuss the state of female Halloween costumes. This is further encouraged by this article, http://www.newsweek.com/id/62474?GT1=10450 discussing little girls' costumes and whether they are too racy or not. I have some conflicting thoughts, not because I don't think these costumes are hyper-sexualized (I do) but because many times the costumes are referred to as "slutty." You all know how I feel about words like whore and slut, but I suppose my conflict arises from the impression that if you dress a certain way you are automatically "slutty."

Slutty dress is taken to mean provocative dress, or perhaps easy. I think perhaps my problem with tossing around words like slut arises from the wealth of connotations it carries. But the Halloween costumes out there in the world are hyper-sexualized and do make you look tacky, tasteless, and yes, slutty. So why does the concept of keeping our daughters from looking "slutty" bother me so much?

I think it must arise from the emphasis there being on looking easy. When discussed in terms of objectifying women, teaching young girls to wield their sexuality instead of embracing it, or promoting self-degrading behaviors I have no problem condemning certain modes of dress. For instance, short-shorts that say JUICY or BRAT across the butt. T-shirts that say BRAT across the chest. Why would you want a daughter that was proud to be a brat? Why would you want a daughter that was more proud of her ass than her mind? But clothing that promotes lack of character is different than clothing that just makes a woman look "easy." Looking or being "slutty" is a far cry from lack of self-confidence, being objectified, or feeling degraded.

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to look cute. Confidence in one's body should be promoted in children, teenagers, and adults. But there's a difference in dressing confidently, even provocatively, and dressing a child like a sex object. Perhaps what bothers me about the use of "slut" in this article is that it is entirely too simple of a description of what is going on. What is wrong with these outfits is so far beyond a girl looking like a slut that it bothers me as much to classify it under slut as it does to dress the child in the outfit to begin with.

Dressing your daughter like an adult is forcing sexuality on her long before she is ready. Girls and boys are children, and while there are differences, childhood is a fabulous time of androgyny and playing doctor. That might sound like a paradox, but children can revel in the differences of the body while still being completely oblivious to how much the other gender's appreciation of their body will matter some day. Little girls run around and get dirty if it appeals and little boys can stay as clean as they like. Little girls should be allowed to imagine themselves as army girls or doctors instead of "Major Flirt" or "Doctor Phil Good." Children enjoy life without sex--theirs is a life of make believe and dress up for no greater purpose than one night's fulfillment of the imagination. Adults, in the ever increasing brilliance of consumerism, have realized that sex sells--everyone wants to be sexy--and so everything we wear, think, or do must be pointed towards giving us more, better, wilder sex. And because adults buy costumes for children we sell sex there too.

This isn't a simple matter of girls being slutty or not then. It's a matter of adults robbing their children of their childhood. It's a matter of girls never being allowed to be girls, but being forced into the role of tiny women. It's not a matter of female sexuality as a good or bad thing, but female sexuality being wielded by society to make companies the most money possible.

It's fun to feel pretty--we equate feeling pretty with feeling loved, approved, noticed. All of those things are good feelings. But we can feel pretty, feel good, get noticed, without appealing to the vision of ourselves as objects instead of people. And to all the parents in the world, love your children and let them be. Don't try to make them the person you always wished you were. They deserve more than that. You both deserve more than that.