Today’s blog is brought to you today courtesy of Jem and the Holograms. I am sitting on my bed watching the Dvds and grading papers (yes, I know how cool I am, that’s why I work to share that coolness with all of you) and I noticed some significant themes in the show. First of all Rio, Jerrica’s boyfriend and Jem’s undisclosed something, is so loyal to Jerrica that no one can tempt him away except, Jerrica. And, he is so darn in love with her that he just can’t resist her alter-ego. This, of course, prompts the question: is it cheating if you cheat on me with myself? And is it entrapment if I lure you into cheating on me, with myself? I will return to these questions, as they do deserve an answer.

I also noticed, however, that Jem is constantly in mortal danger. Rio trips and all the sound equipment starts exploding around her, singling her off from the group she had been standing in. She helps a man out of a pool and manages to fly ten feet through the air only to land in the path of a runaway bulldozer. A thief knocks the lamp out of Kimber’s hand and the fire rages out of control in mere moments, shooting across the floor as if it were fueled by the devil himself. And this is only in the first half of the story.

So it got me thinking, maybe if I too were in a constant state of near death someone like Rio would save me, love me, and perhaps cheat on me with myself. But then I looked around at my grading, my super girl t-shirt, and my unwashed self at 1:00 pm and decided that were I ever to be in mortal danger I would probably just die. Doubtless, however, my bloated, decaying corpse would be found by someone appropriately hot and spy-like who would feel an inexplicable drive to solve my murder and honor the memory of me whom he didn’t know. In the course of honoring that memory he would fall in love with someone who looked a little bit like Jessica Rabbit and the last image of the story would be them putting flowers on my grave before walking off into the sunset to make sweet, sweet love. I would still be dead.

Maybe that’s a bit defeatist, but judging from my history and my luck I feel a realistic expectation. But, that’s why I’m not Jem. And I don’t have truly, outrageous pink hair. Maybe if I get the hair it will change my story…I’ll get back to you on that one.

Now, back to the topic of cheating and if it counts if you cheat no me with myself. I don’t know. Because, what if you can’t help but be attracted to me because I’m just so me? My appeal is so strong that even when you don’t know it’s me you still can’t resist? That’s hot. But you sleeping with someone you don’t know to be me isn’t. But if you show an appropriate amount of guilt, and just couldn’t control yourself…this isn’t an easy question to answer. And what ethical responsibilities do I have when seducing you? Am I allowed? Can I hold it against you? Am I allowed to be angry if you say no and if you say yes? I really feel like the cartoons of my youth prepared me for a philosophical life. I mean, to imagine a young girl grappling with the complexities of a two-sided love triangle. Jerrica, Rio, and Jem (Jerrica). It’s beautiful. No doubt my love for all things abstract has arisen from Jem and the Holograms.

Should I ever win a Nobel Prize I’m so going to thank Jem in the speech.