Top Ten Thanks 2009

Last year I did a top ten list of things I was most thankful for, and it ended up being such a pleasurable exercise that I thought I ought to do it again. Drum roll please...

Top Ten Things I Am Most Thankful For in 2009

10. My Parents' Hot Water Heater
It's probably not new at this point; I can't remember exactly when it was bought, but I know when I was little a hot shower in the winter was more like something slightly better than lukewarm. Somewhere along the way, though, they got the sort of hot water heater that approaches the surface temperature of Mercury and I am so very thankful for that.

9. Twilight
Yeah, that's right. I love those stories, and I really love the movies. Perhaps I'm more thankful because the Harry Potter movies are so hit and miss; perhaps I'm blinded by the wolf pack of 8 packs on the screen in front of me. Whatever the reason I like it, and I say thank you to the universe.

8. TV on DVD
I have cable, but it only really shows Judge Judy and Dr. Phil. Thankfully, though, the entertainment industry offers TV on DVD and this means that my roommate, friends, and myself can luxuriate on our newly acquired seating and bond over Sex in the City and CAM ON THE TABLE! (Bones). We also, following in aforementioned roommate's footsteps, now scream "MAKE OUT!" whenever Bones and Booth get within kissing distance of each other. It's the sort of emotional bonding that makes a person thankful to be where they are with the people they are.

7. Memphis Championship BBQ
Revealed to me by the brilliance of a good friend and her husband, my husband-in-law (it's a long story (not really, but it sounds more exciting if I call it a long story)) I now eat the delicious Burnt Ends of Memphis Championship BBQ about once a week. I would feel guilty about that, except that it seems silly to feel guilty over enjoying perfection. I'm just saying.

6. Living Somewhere With Many, Many Movie Theaters
I love movies. This isn't surprising. But what you might not have known, is that I love to go to movies late, late at night. Lucky for me I have a friend that also likes to go to movies after she gets off work at eleven pm; thankfully we get to go to late night movie together. There are days I don't think I would cry if Las Vegas was swallowed up by the sinkhole of damnation that sits below it, but on nights when my insomniac self can't sleep, I'm really happy I live somewhere with late showings.

5. Netlix Instant Watch
This one goes along with #6 in the movie category, but this might be the single greatest invention ever...after indoor plumbing, antibiotics, and adhesive maxi-pads.

4. Not Being Raised by Crazy People
As police bust up the polygamy compounds, I see kids with some really disturbing visions of how the world works, and then rock stars' daughters accuse them of incest. I am quite grateful that I was never abused, ignored, or married off as wife #45 at the age of 9. I think that's a good thing to remember at Thanksgiving.

3. Not Being of Easily Kidnappable Size
Have you seen Taken? I have never been so happy to be fat in my life. Seriously--it might cut my lifespan short and cause any number of health problems, but most likely no one's going to kidnap me and attempt to sell me on the sex slave market. Also, I'm too big for an anaconda to eat, and that means they wouldn't bother stalking me (which they do!). Those are both excellent reasons to say thank you!

2. Never Having to Take Comprehensive Exams Again
I never have to take comprehensive exams again...ever.

1. Shannon (my new nephew)
I know. It's so cute even I threw up in my mouth as I typed it. Doesn't mean it's not true though.