There have been a number of things I've wanted to write about in the last few days, but despite my best intentions none of them have made it to here.

A quick run down:

My nephew was born and that was friggin' awesome.

Hugh Jackman vs. Liev Schreiber, a.k.a. Wolverine has now been renamed One More Movie Where I Question My Attraction To Bestial Characteristics In Men.

I watched all three Pirates of the Carribean movies and feel I need to state once again that 1 day ashore, no matter how good the sex with Orlando Bloom's piratey self, does not justify 10 years raising a kid by yourself with no means.

The above mentioned statement illustrates better than a dissertation that graduate school has beaten the fun out of me.

But hey, my nephew was born and that's friggin' awesome.

So this got me thinking about the top ten characters I would most like my nephew to grow up to be like, and the top ten characters I would least like him to be like. It seems like a worthwhile procrastination of my time as I put off sleeping, writing, and all other manner of things that would allow me to graduate and join the work force.

Top Ten Characters That Would Be Most Awesome for My Nephew to Grow Up To Be Like:

10. Will Turner
This one's tough. On the one hand if he grows up like Will Turner his dad's a pirate, he has an over developed sensed of morality and nobility, and he gets his heart cut out when he's assigned the eternal duty of ferrying souls across to the underworld. On the other hand, his dad's a pirate, he has an over developed sense of morality and nobility, and he's immortal. The ambiguity lands this one at #10.

9. Luke Skywalker
Again with the daddy troubles. My nephew could grow up to save the galaxy and restore balance to the force. However, for that to happen my brother has to turn evil and commit genocide which is why this one ranks in at #9.

8. Gambit
I thought long and hard with this one. Batman's unstable; Superman's alone. Cyclops is a douchebag, Professor X is in a wheelchair, and Wolverine has rage issues. With choices like this Gambit was the only real choice--he's suave, debonair, strong, and has a rockin' accent. The kid could do worse.

7. Tom Selleck
Perhaps you didn't realize Tom Selleck qualified as a character, but you should have. If any relative of mine can rock the 'stache that awesomely with masculinity fairly pouring from his pores I feel his life will be easier. If he's not Tom Selleck, though, I want everyone to rest assured that I will do my auntly duty and nicely remind him to shave. Immediately.

6. Jed Bartlett
He's a good President. He's brilliant. He loves his wife. And he can speak Latin--sweet.

5. Captain Kirk
The real explanation needed here is why #5? It's a good question, a valid question. Captain Kirk does save the planet; he makes it with tons of sexy alien chicks. But sometimes, just sometimes, he's in really bad movies. I'm sorry, but that has to count against him just a little.

4. Robin Hood
Robs from the rich and gives to the poor. I'm a crazy liberal who wants nothing more than to bring down the man. Self explanatory really.

3. Gandalf
It's not an obvious choice perhaps; why Gandalf? Why not Aragorn or Frodo? Well, two reasons really: 1) Gandalf is wicked smart and 2) he can come back from the dead. Those are two traits I would sleep easier knowing my nephew had.

2 . He-Man
Dude. He's a Master of the Universe. And he rocks the fur speedo like nobody's business.

1. Po, the Kung Fu Panda
Po comes in at #1 for one main reason: with our family genetics the truth is my nephew is most likely to resemble a panda and not so much a tiger, grizzly bear, or any other fearsome animal. But Po loves Kung Fu, and Po doesn't let others define "panda" for him. Some day I want to write the legendary tale of the legend of my nephew. Skadoosh!