Inappropriate Facebook Status Updates

Due to the awesomeness of my roommate I was recently introduced to a website called Lamebook.com. There at ye ol’ Lamebook they take the best of the best, and the best of the worst, of Facebook and post it for the world to see. Be warned: this isn’t for the faint of heart.

There is everything from the hilarious to the offensive to the just plain odd, but after spending no small amount of time on this website myself (insomnia is a harsh boyfriend) I find myself contemplating the lure of the inappropriate Facebook status update.

For example: if you are Girl A and your friend Girl B breaks up with her Boyfriend C, then A and C start dating, wouldn’t you, as A, remove B from your friend list? (If you’re confused just graph it out--I promise it makes sense.)

I mean, as I read some of the status updates and the exchanges happening on the internet--FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE--I have to wonder, do these people remain friends on Facebook out of spite, or are their profiles set to public? And either way, don’t you show a severe lack of intelligence, tact, class, and forethought to post personal business where anyone can read it?

We can all pretend like we haven’t seen them, but we know we have. Inappropriate status updates generally take the following four forms:

The Inappropriately Angry Update:
John Doe is so *BLEEPING* angry at the *BLEEPER DE BLEEPS* that made him go *BLEEPING* *BLEEP*.

The Inappropriately Personal Update (this one has two sub-categories):

Inappropriate about Self--
Janey Smiles wants you all to know that she has brain cancer and only five months to live.

Inappropriate Divulging of Information About Others--
Marjorie Black is sorry her neighbor’s little six year old daughter was also diagnosed with leprosy and must go live in a colony.

The Inappropriate Sharing Update:
Keith Brown hates Charlie Shore so much because he is such a *BLEEP* to steal my girlfriend. If your best friend is going to father three children on your girlfriend while you’re dating her, and she’s going to lie to you about being the father, he should recognize that he isn’t a friend at all!

The Inappropriately Passive-Aggressive Update:
Tina Red wishes she could stop crying. Why would he do that?!?!?!?!

And, of course, because sharing this sort of information with the world isn’t enough--almost always these updates are written in some horrendous form of text speech (Tboz thnkz u r stw a8f al08 lol haha!) or use ridiculous grammar.

And you know, on the one hand I sort of get it. When something happens, good or bad, you want to talk about it. You want to share with people. I totally get that impulse. You want people to know what’s going on in your life and in this modern era of the internet and Facebook the status update seems like a great way to get it done. But as I push ahead in my studies and I read more and more about the internet and the internet in classrooms and the internet and society and I (obviously) use the internet a lot I keep wondering if people have always been this unaware of decorum, if lack of decorum has always been prevalent but the internet makes it more visible, or if the anonymous nature of typing in your bedroom by yourself makes it easier to lose decorum.

And I recognize a lot of the irony in me remarking on this. I am not, nor ever will be, a lady (a fact I’m not worried about). But, I do try my darndest to have and demonstrate good manners. Anything less would simply disappoint my poor mother and I try my best to never disappoint my poor mother. And I (as evidenced by this post and the many that have preceeded it) use the internet to share my personal opinions and views as if anyone cares; all bloggers do, and certainly that runs the risk of tricking those of us writing from the privacy of our own homes into thinking our opinions matter in the grand scheme of things. I recognize this about myself and in case any inappropriate updaters are reading this and feeling offended I want you to know I recognize it about myself.

But I feel like there’s a difference between being censored and demonstrating tact, no? And facebook is not the place to “let it all hang out” right? You try not to make the family cry at Christmas dinner because it’s rude, and whether you care what they think or not if you’re there, being an adult means doing your best to be pleasant. Christmas Dinner is not the place to be a snot. That’s not censorship, it’s agreeing to live peaceably together for the time it takes to share a meal. Sometimes it feels like a plastic bag over your face, but gosh darn it you paste on that smile and get the job done! At least, that’s how we roll in the Midwest.

But I worry (and I know how old this makes me sound) about the kids (let’s hope Girls A and B and Boyfriend C are kids for goodness sake) who are sharing all manner of things with the world via Facebook and getting fired and never realizing that not every thought that passes through their mind at every moment of the day matters.

I mean, after I read Lamebook I overwhelmed by the whole bevy of people in the world that had no idea how much none of us care about their breakups, anger, or pain--at least not via update. Cause when you want to share that with people isn’t it worth the phone call? Or at least an email? This is why I despise Twitter. What do you possibly have to say to me, that is worth saying, that can be said in under 140 characters? I don’t care if you’re eating pizza! I don’t care if you’re shopping! I don’t care if you really like pictures of puppies!

Sorry...I think that’s been building for awhile.

So yeah, check out Lamebook.com if you think you’re up to it. I promise you won’t be bored; though, if you find yourself crying over the state of civilization don’t say I didn’t warn you.