You know what's not hot? What is never, ever attractive in any way, under any circumstance, or fantasy? Besides the mullet or fanny-pack? Rape. Here I am, reading the latest trashy romance, and I'm stopped, flabbergasted, confounded by the two most offensive sentences ever published in one book. And you know I've read some offensive books. Sentence one: "A husband can't rape his wife." Sentence two: "Rape or seduction, he would take either."

NOT HOT!

The worst part is, I kind of liked this book. It's about shape-shifting dragons; the heroine is strong and the hero is Alpha (oh yeah, she describes him as Alpha. Probably that should have tipped me off to the caliber or writing I had gotten myself into, but I cut a lot of slack when it comes to these books). But when the "hero" (notice the ironic scare quotes) says he's going to marry you and RAPE you, but it won't be rape because you really want it--in what twisted, Nora Ephron world is this romance? This is like some freakish woman's fantasy who grew up on James Bond films and never actually tried to live one of those scenarios out.

It looks really good when the man is all uber-masculine and fighting his need to ravish her immediately; it adds to the sensuality of the moment if we are all very aware of how the only reason she isn't naked and panting is because he has so magnanimously chosen not to use his superior strength against her. And nothing tops of a sex scene quite like the knowledge that if she weren't into it he still wouldn't stop. Cause that's exactly what I want from my husband/hero/super spy. I want to know that if I'm weeping or silent or stiff or protesting or trying to get away he'll push ahead because he knows that's what I really want.

It's a good thing we have stories like this to remind us that real men will "take care of us." That's right. I used the scare quotes again. You know why? Cause it's scary.

I'm flummoxed. What editor let's this get published? What writer imagines it heightens the sexual tension of the scene for the reader to know her hero is capable of raping her heroine? HELLO?! You know what it is? This is a woman that watches Sleepless in Seattle and says "that's romantic." This is a woman who imagines that any manner of behavior is excusable so long as genuine "love" provides the motivations. This is a woman who gets smacked across the face and when her man says he's sorry and he only did it because he loved her believes him and cooks him dinner so he won't feel so bad.

Sometimes I try not to judge, but I'm judging now. There is a very big difference between I want you so much I can't slow myself down and I want you so much I'm gonna rape you. One of those is hot. The other is only sexy if you're a hot mess of a human being who is so broken she can't even conceive of fantasy as different than reality.

Why is it so hard to find a good love story any more? Why can't I, just once, get a sexy, dark, brooding hero who isn't emotionally abusive or fighting an inner-struggle against his own rape tendencies? I mean for craps sake here people. Is the literary bar for genre fiction really set this low or do I just have to worst luck picking out easy reading?

Stupid, stupid book. I'm totally going to burn it and use it's flaming pages to kill roaches. Then at least it would be good for something.