I'm on Superman overload. First I watched Superman 1. Then I watched Superman 2. Now I'm putting in Superman Returns. It's not healthy, but it's all I've got right now.

Having just finished Superman 2, however, I'm brought back to the same problem that disturbs me time and time again. Why oh why can't Superman and Lois be together? In the comic books this isn't a problem, but the movie presents a thoroughly unsatisfactory answer. More than that, though, is the problem with the kiss at the end of the second movie. Working off the original and not the Richard Donner cut (which is, incidentally, much better) Clark Kent kisses Lois and takes away her memory of their relationship and her discovery of his secret identity.

This presents problems on a multitude of levels. The most important of which is that Superman doesn't rob memories. Batman might; Batman engages in any number of ethically dubious activities, but Superman is the guy that doesn't lie or kill. He's so upstanding, in fact, that it sometimes causes more problems then it solves.

But his taking of Lois' memory without her permission consists of a mental rape in my opinion. You can argue it's for her own good, that he does it out of love, or even necessity, but it doesn't change the fact that he is controlling her mind against her will. That's not something morally upright friends do to each other. Plus, while Superman lives a complicated existence, we're not talking about a keeper of the universe's secrets here. What's actually at stake? Lois' happiness? Her peace of mind? He knows she won't tell. She isn't in possession of some truly earth shattering information and she isn't unstable enough for it to be an issue. No, what appears to be going on is that they can't be together, it's hurting her, and he doesn't like that.

Well too damned bad. Who is he to decide what pain she lives with and what pain she forgets? Who is he to decide whether or not she will ever get over him? It's so...so...high-handed of him. In many ways it reeks of patriarchal bullshit. No, I'm not turning this into some sort of Superman is a patriarch rant (I would hope we all know me better than that) but you have to admit this idea of poor little Lois won't ever get over Superman, but Superman is strong enough to handle it for both of them is very weak-little-womanesque. Yes, he's Superman and so we all assume he is stronger in general, mentally and physically, than normal humans, but actually, in the entire mythos of Superman, he isn't any more mentally capable than a normal human being. His strength comes from his parents and his character, just like the rest of us. The thrill of Lois Lane was that she was as strong, in personality anyway, as he was. By letting him kiss her and take away her memory she's robbed of that. She's immediately reduced to a plucky girl whose so darn cute getting herself in trouble over and over again. That's not Lois Lane, or it shouldn't be.

And that's not Superman. I feel that much of the Lois/Superman relationship has been severely abused over the years. Mostly in the movies--this last one's chief offense was casting Kate Bosworth in the part who looks like she's about to break in half at any given moment--the relationship has always been presented with a sense that Superman pined after Lois and Lois only loved Superman for his power not for who he was. I find that incredibly unacceptable.

And, for the record, Superman does not ejaculate with the force of a nuclear missile. The man has super strength--at no point in the history of ejaculating has a man's ability to lift weights affected the force with which he expels seminal fluid. There is the minor issue of him crushing Lois, but considering human males abilities not to smother women smaller than them (usually) I think he'll be okay. That whole idea is such a teenage boy fantasy.

And why do men fantasize about such things as more powerful ejaculates anyway? Obviously I still don't understand as much about the male psyche as I thought.