I dedicate this blog to all you assholes out there.

Who is the greater fool: the fool or the fool who follows him?

If you know someone to be mean-spirited, an asshole, know them to always do their best to ruin all the enjoyment of others, know them to suck the fun out of living why do you keep talking to them? Why do you continually ask for their opinion on a situation? Or, in some cases, not even ask for an opinion; simply offer a statement of plans laying out a good time. You lay yourself out like a sacrificial lamb.

“Here!” You say. “Here I am! Here is all my joy, all my hopes, everything I look forward to in life! Take it, take it upon your altar and slaughter it! Please!”

Why do this? You know the outcome; you know the consequences, why lay down upon the altar and act surprised when you see the knife descending?

Because none of us who aren’t assholes can help it.

We live our life joyously. We enjoy simple pleasures and look forward to simple times. The idea that someone would not be happy for us, as we have been happy for others our whole lives, is so foreign, so abominable that we simply cannot comprehend it. In our souls is an innate belief that if we just keep being a good friend, a good lover, a good relative the asshole will come around. We keep offering harmless anecdotes about nothing more complicated than laughing. We keep supporting and loving and sharing and listening because that’s what we do. Our mistake is made when we expect said asshole to listen to us. Our mistake is made when we expect said asshole to support and love and share with us. It isn’t going to happen. Some people are pretty; some people are ugly. Some people are nice, and some people are assholes. It is the way of the world. It has taken me twenty-three years to learn this.

What aggravates me is that assholes do not have to be that way. Something in their development went so awry that they are unable to allow others joy. I suppose that is what makes them an asshole. But this idea is so alien to me! Why can’t you be happy? Why can’t you say, “Hey, that sounds like a good time for you. Enjoy yourself.” What is so frightening or threatening or Goddess only knows what about people having a good time? Always the asshole picks it apart. Always the asshole finds a reason that what is being done is stupid, or inefficient or wasteful. Always the asshole is an asshole.

It makes me angry. I wouldn’t say this is over-reacting on my part. I wouldn’t say I’m just pmsing. I would say this is very real annoyance in my life. Assholes need to be banished to their own little island where they can be mean and spiteful to each other. Where their bitchy, nagging habits won’t attach to me like leeches settling down for a feast. The worst part about assholes is they turn the rest of us into assholes if we let them. So surrounded are we by negativity that we finally give in and become negative ourselves.

Well screw you guys I’m not doing it. You want to be an asshole to me fine. But I’m still going to have a good time and there is nothing you can do about it. You can be an asshole, but I will point you out for the petty, insecure creature you are. It’s not my problem I like my life. It’s your problem you hate yours.

Go fix yourself. I’m not playing your games anymore.