I don’t know why I do this to myself, or to you for that matter, but here I go again. Apparently, on my own. What I’m about to say was prompted in part by the comment of a classmate and made worse by msn.com. At the end of class yesterday I was starving. It was 6:30, I hadn’t eaten since 12:00 and chowing down on someone’s arm was seeming like a good idea. After proclaiming my starving self to be getting food two other girls readily agreed with me that they too were starving. But one said “especially since I haven’t eaten anything today.” I, foolishly, asked, “you haven’t eaten anything?” “No,” she replied, “so that I could have a full sized dinner instead of an orange.” Oh, of course, what was I thinking? Naturally if you eat breakfast and lunch you can’t eat a full dinner! She had recently put on 5 lbs even though her eating habits hadn’t changed.

That is a brilliant reason to starve oneself. Great argument, obviously you’re correct.

And on msn you can click on a map of the United States where it tells you the percentage of people in your state that are obese. Then you can find out if your state is obese and what you can do about it. That’s right people, fat asses are a national epidemic and we all need to step up and do our part to take those fat people down a size. Who’s with me?!

I know I’ve been on the fat bus lots of time and told you all very loudly how I feel about this. But I’m probably going to keep going until the American people stop being stupid so you might as well get used to it. Once again, I do not think being obese is a good idea. I do not think fat people are physically more attractive than fit people. I do not relish the idea of not being able to fit in a normal sized chair. But if someone has a fat ass that is her, and only her, concern. If someone wears muumuus because nothing else fits--too bad for them. This is not a national crisis. And their health problems, never mind how much heart trouble is due to dieting over the years, might cost insurance companies more money. Aren’t insurance companies supposed to pay for medical bills? Isn’t that why you pay them a premium? It’s fantastic when you never have to use it because you’re always healthy, but I’m not feeling real sorry for the insurance companies--the same companies that price gouge and discriminate--have to dole out some change.

I do not feel our society should have the right to declare citizens’ worth based on how much they contribute. I am not a fucking cog in the fucking machine. Forgive my language but I feel extremely strong about this. If I am a tax-paying member of society I don’t owe anyone anything except to abide by society’s agreement, laws. The idea that my ass can adversely affect my neighbor is…horrendous! What? Like an unsightly bush it will bring down their property value? It will ruin their view? It will ruin their air (with my ass that might be true)? And if you pass a law based on my “health” what does that mean? Need I remind everyone that the basis for much of racism came from minorities lack of ability to be as smart, to feel as much, to be as productive to society.

So we know that fat people get more sick more often. Well then, obviously it should be illegal to be fat. You’re not as good of a worker as someone else; you will suck up more of society’s resources. It seems the obvious solution. Now, how to enforce it? We’ll control what food is available to the public! Okay, we’ve already started that--no trans fat in restaurants and no smoking inside in many states and cities. We’ll have mandatory weigh-ins. Some schools are sending home a “fitness” report card. We’ll penalize you for breaking the law. Deny you insurance benefits or charge you more, punish you in the work place, refuse to allow you in certain places. Yup, those things are going on too. But strangely, the obesity rates keep going up. Well, we just need crack down. Make it more dramatic. I know, monitor what food you buy at the supermarket--if you’re overweight you don’t need that ice cream. Here’s some broccoli. Make sure fast food restaurants don’t sell unhealthy choices--nobody really wants to eat a big mac, right? We’ll institute programs in school to make sure kids know what not to do. DARE has worked wonders with drugs so we’ll just include a chapter on fat people too. These are all really good ideas.

Or, here’s an idea I’m just throwing out there, we can just accept that nobody owes anyone, anything. If their fatness is unsightly, or unwieldy for the rest of us we can choose not to look. We could choose to just, I don’t know, be accepting? But that might be too much to ask for just yet. We could accept that it is not everybody’s job to be sexually appealing all the time and that if I don’t want to sleep with someone, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them. It does mean that I don’t want to sleep with them. Huh. We could accept that if someone doesn’t want to sleep with us, it doesn’t mean we have morally failed. Brilliant! That it isn’t my job to attract every guy that walks by, just in case Mr. Right happens to be among them.
You can tell me this about health. You can tell me this is about society and what’s best for our country. I will tell you that you’re full of shit, or just don’t have any idea how the world works. It’s about money and control. Insurance companies can’t deny coverage to obese people until everyone else is sufficiently against them enough to allow it. The citizens of this country are less likely to pay attention to a President that lies and a war on false premises, if their too busy worrying about their asses and their neighbors asses. If we all hate each other all the time, we can’t band together.

The best way to control people is sex and fear. We may crouch our terminology in things like “health” and “feeling better” but we mean, what everyone still means is “skinny” and “sexually appealing.” You might disagree with me, but first figure out why you are petrified of being fat and then present your argument. And you can’t say because you won’t be able to do anything--I can do lots of things. I can hike. I can swim. I can fit in airplane seats. I can ride my bike. I’m not in great shape, but neither am I bedridden. So why are you petrified to look like me? What is so scary about it? Being unappealing? Not being whistled at when you walk down the street? Having to shop in fat lady stores? No? What then?

Everyone has health concerns. Cholesterol, cancer, diabetes, whatever--you name it. Those don’t go away because you’re thin. Being healthy is more than losing weight and it certainly isn’t losing weight fast. It doesn’t happen through a pill and it doesn’t not happen because you aren’t on the weight chart. It’s something between a person and her doctor and has nothing to do with society or anyone else.

But we owe it to each other right? I need to watch out for your obesity and your smoking because maybe it’s contagious. Oh, wait, that’s gayness. Huh, there’s just so much to hate I don’t know where to start.