Ah yes, good news. My wonderful darling aunt has found romance again!! Congrats aunt! I am so happy for her I fairly bounced all the way home after hearing the news.

More good news—less than three months before I am out of Mac-town. One way or another it’s done. Everything not necessary for survival goes back to mom and dad’s and I move with one car full. This should be fun. I have to say I’m excited. If I had a better driving record I might consider being a truck driver. Then I could just go be a wanderer. There are days that idea has significant appeal.

Other news…is there any other news? I suppose there always is but will any of it be said here? Now that is a good question. My quest to avoid meaningless sex continues but I’ve discovered a catch. Just because one person doesn’t think s/he is having meaningless sex does not mean the sex isn’t meaningless. That is a minor inconvenience I hadn’t counted on. But I also discovered something else. Given the slightest provocation I am a fucking psychotic once a month. It doesn’t necessarily bother me because I already knew this. I am fortunate enough to have people surrounding me that let me know “hey, you’re crazy. Go away and come back in a week.” But I have found significant humor in observing females who have yet to learn the evil, devious ways of their body. I never knew of a female who believed she didn’t suffer from pms, I think at this point most of us simply assume we do, but there are exceptions. The tricky part is, which I never considered having a mother that never let me forget I was a bitch one a month, that if no one ever tells you your mood changes you would never know. The first time it happens you don’t feel any different. There isn’t a little light that goes on inside the head saying “you’re crazy for a week, stop all action!” You feel completely justified in everything you are feeling. It isn’t until you are informed that what you’re feeling may be, shall we say exaggerated, that you can learn to see and feel the signs.

So this is my helpful handbook to all the men out there. If you know it’s close to that time of the month or she has even mentioned that she’s cramping or some such problem, do not take to heart ANYTHING she says. Don’t disregard her, even the craziest notions are based on fact, but don’t let it get you down. Women act two ways during that time of month, want to be held or don’t want to be touched at all. Don’t overreact. If she wants to be held it doesn’t mean she’s a crazy codependent. And if she doesn’t want to be touched it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like/love you. It just means our uteruses are bigger bitches than we are and we’re helpless against them. Bear with us. We’ll make it up to you when we are ourselves again.