I’m watching Roadhouse. I start this entry with that information so we can all understand just what’s going on here. This movie...this movie has me irate and I feel the best way to handle it is a top ten list.

The Top Ten Most Outrageous Moments in Roadhouse

10. The sheriff accepts the death of the bad guy and all his henchmen without investigation
We know the “law enforcement” has been paid off by the bad guy, but still. The police show up LITERALLY SECONDS after the last shot is fired. There are dead bodies everywhere. Dalton stands bloody and panting and the sheriff just puts his hands on his hips and says, “Alright, what happened?” The townsfolk, finally sick of what’s happening all say, “I didn’t see anything” and this passes. The law enforcement shrug and as if to say, “Whatever. He was a mob boss and we’re in a bad 80’s movie.”

9. Doc follows Dalton into the Boss’ lair for some unknown reason
Doc doesn’t like the bad guy. She’s pissed at Dalton for some unknown reason. But still, as he fights to the death storming the proverbial castle she runs in to distract him at the end. I swear the only real purpose of women’s roles in 80’s action movies is to distract heroes at key moments.

8. Nobody in town shoots the bad guy
Someone blows up your friend’s store, has been forcing you to pay them for x amount of time, and then rolls up with a monster truck at your car lot with intent to destroy all your cars--what do you do? You pull out a shotgun and shoot the asshole. That’s all I’m saying.

7. The Eagle Claw is the finishing move
I respect the awesomeness of the Eagle Claw. But Patrick Swayze a.k.a. Dalton a.k.a. Johnny Castle dance instructor extraordinaire just isn’t scary while panting heavily and holding his hand up in Eagle Claw fashion. It is, possibly, not the most intimidating stance ever held on-screen.

6. It takes FOUR shotgun blasts for Bad Guy to go down
Close range shotgun blasts. Four of them. Old dude is not the Hulk. Outrageous.

5. Dalton has a B.A. In Philosophy from NYU (and it qualifies him for something)
At one point when the doctor asks Dalton about himself he reveals that he received a degree in Philosophy from NYU. Maybe in ‘89 a bachelors in Philosophy counted for something, but I kinda doubt it. Mostly that says “I want to give off a wounded-dangerous-hurt-deep-down sort of personality.”

4. Dalton leaves Wade alone instead of calling Doc (Kelly Lynch)
The bad guy says I’m gonna kill one of your friends. Friend 1 stumbles in hurt and beat up. So you leave him alone to “go get doc”?! This is not 1889--there are phones! Even in 1889 you could pay a starving orphan on the street to run the message to the doc for you thereby allowing you to protect both friends at once. Ridiculous.

3. People in town never call the FBI
A mob boss in small town (Missouri maybe?) is running the place; you can’t go to the sheriff for help because he’s on the take. It never occurs to anyone to approach the FBI or outside law enforcement? Seriously?

2. Doc flips out because Dalton kills someone in self-defense
Imagine this scenario: douche bag tries to kill you, your friend, and your boyfriend. Your boyfriend fights DB (douche bag) but the fight stalls when DB pulls out a gun. Your boyfriend knocks the gun away and kills DB. What do you do? Do you flip out and yell at your boyfriend? Or do you say, thank you for killing that DB who was going to kill you, our friend, and possibly me after he rapes me?

1. The Doc mysteriously gets over her upset at Dalton’s killing DB after the bad guy’s dead
Your righteous anger mysteriously evaporates after your boyfriend goes on a killing spree wiping out DB’s employer bad guy and all his henchmen. Perhaps the problem was simply that he only killed once person before? More likely it was the Eagle Claw--if I had seen my boyfriend kill with the Eagle Claw I might have needed a killing spree to remind me of his awesomeness too.

Everyone must go to Youtube and type in Susan Boyle--Britain’s Got Talent. Watch Episode 1 from Saturday, April 11th.

Now, after you’ve done that, answer these questions:

Did you think she would sing well?
Why do you think everyone laughed at her?

I was moved by her singing sure, but even more moved by the disturbing realization that if you’re classically unattractive people still expect you to fail, be untalented, and embarrass yourself. The way this story is being marketed (and it looks like it’s going to be a good story--I’m hoping for a movie) you would think she triumphed in proving everyone wrong. But what does it say when “ugly” people (I’m using the term in the way some of the comments on Youtube use it) are triumphant by achieving nothing more than an awareness that they have value?

I feel like I want to write a paper on this.

Frederick Douglas and the “good Negro” comes to mind here. For Susan Boyle she can rise above her “station” as it were, but people will keep talking about her appearance, her age, and her lack of sexual history. She will be a success in spite of those things, but never disconnected from them. I freely admit to wanting to pluck her eyebrows wicked bad, and what does that say about me? When did I become so sensitive to eyebrows?

On the one hand I understand; anytime someone states they are going to sing a song from a musical you have to be careful. Musical numbers are either fantastic or go very, very wrong. But the sheer animosity of that crowd in the Youtube clip; if she had been any less talented or not on her game they would have laughed her off that stage. As it stands, I will be interested to see if people truly love her or if they start to treat her as a really talented circus animal. Maybe that’s my own cynicism sneaking through.

But the hostile crowd is the thing no one talks about right? The judges freely admit to having prejudged her before she sang and are delighted to be proven wrong, but no one seems bothered by the voracity with which they prejudged. The news people are all atwitter that Ms. Boyle made even Simon Cowell smile, but state her age and lack of dating history as if that makes her ability to sing even more impressive. Since when did sexual prowess have anything to do with musical talent? Are we surprised because someone who so obviously has lived a quiet life is now pursuing the spotlight or are we surprised that someone could live such a quiet life and not be ashamed of it? In many ways Susan Boyle represents the limn come into the center. She is everything we’re told not to be, and she is that unapologetically. Funny how the headlines comment on her limnality more than her singing ability--or, actually, use her singing ability as a way to pull her into the fold. She’s old, she’s ugly, and she’s never been kissed, but boy can she sing.

And I’ll say this for Simon Cowell: he’s an ass, but he’s always been a fair ass. He makes fun of everyone, and has always appeared to be impressed by genuine talent. Funny how the asshole, once again, is the most honest among us. Shakespeare’s fool anyone?

So those are my thoughts on Susan Boyle; she is a phenomenal singer and I hope she wins the competition. I at least hope she gets a record deal because that is a woman that loves to sing. In the meantime I look forward to news headlines--let’s see how often they talk about her singing by itself versus how often it’s connected to her appearance.

Oh I just watched the Motion Graphic Watchmen DVD--or whatever its called. Basically it's a book on DVD, except in this case it's a graphic novel so while someone reads it too you, you watch the panels mildly animated (very mildly) and it makes for a very strange blending of genres. The neat thing was, you see the order the dialogue boxes should be read in and I wasn't aware, until that moment, how I might be misreading a graphic page and how that might be messing with my perception. More amazing, though, was it made for an incredibly intense viewing/listening experience--it was as if we were in the world in a way books can wholly absorb you, but even more so because it was on screen as well.

Mostly I want to cry for the horrors of the world and throw myself off a cliff, but I'm too depressed for action. Alan Moore is such a downer and a total anarchist.

But...I made so many more connections within the text itself that I had missed when I powered through it in one sitting however many years ago I read it. Also, it was astonishingly clear how close the movie had stayed to the graphic novel. The connections within the text itself added depth and interest to the story in a way I hadn't previously noticed; for example, the pirate story that is told within the larger narrative--at the time I read the novel I couldn't figure out why it mattered. This time it was so obvious as to make me embarrassed I hadn't noticed it before. Further, the complexities of the relationships between the characters were much more significant; in my mind when I read it the first time I had glossed over some of the sentences that really change how you can interpret a character and his/her thoughts about another character.

It is amazing how our memories can turn a story into what we want it to be instead of what it is.

In other news, I recently had my first article published. I received copies of the journal a few weeks back and both when I got the article published and when I told different people I've been alternately overwhelmed and disappointed with the response. I suppose what has me thinking about this, is that extended family members that don't know me are really excited about it and have read it, even though they all admit to not fully understanding it. That touches me so significantly. My immediate family members, with the exception of my brother, don't seem to care at all and I feel like I'm pushing it on them when I bring it up. They were more excited about a paper I gave that won some money, but even after I explained that didn't matter nearly as much as being published no one seemed to care. It wouldn't really bother me, except that disparate reactions from those that don't know me well and those that should know me best throw into significant relief just how out of touch my entire world is becoming with my family. I'm talking specifically parents here so all the family that's reading this can rest easy :) (I even use an emoticon to show how easy.)

I don't know why I bring that up, except that I keep dreading coming home and I'm not even sure why. I love my parents, I miss everyone terribly and I really do enjoy spending time with people. But when I come home everyone is busy which leaves most of my conversational time happening with my parents and when I talk to them I can't talk to them; my education seems to serve as a means to an end for some, or proof of my growing ego to others, but absolutely no one is interested in talking about what it means in regards to how we view the world and ourselves. Other friends pursuing higher ed degrees report the same feelings when they go home as well, so I know it isn't just me.

I don't know why I muddled into all of this. Probably it's because Watchmen made me sad and I'm just a mess of repressed emotion right now. Am I losing touch with normalcy? Can normalcy even be defined? I live in the made-up world of academia and I think I'm scared stiff that I will lose touch with reality, but I also live with a growing awareness of the construction of reality and that makes it harder and harder to talk as if everything were always the same.

And no doubt it doesn't help that I started this whole trip off being told I didn't have the proper "scholarship" to talk about feminism while simultaneously being told you can't rape a drunk girl. That would throw anyone's equilibrium off and watching the Watchmen doesn't help.

I blame it all on a giant squid.