Hopefully you are all looking at a shnazzy (sha-naz-y) new template as you read this. I felt I was falling behind in the blogger world so I shut my eyes, held my breath, and leapt out into the world of new templates. I’ll let you know how the landing is.
Oh my, my, my there is so much to relate and so little time. I have been remiss in my stories and now I fear I have too much to possibly catch everyone up on. Let’s start with a quick synopsis hm?

1) I will not be attending school as I have decided I do not want to be a teacher.
2) My duties at work are shifting to include more responsibility; I now work overtime, and I’m hoping for a raise.
3) I saw the Metallica/Godsmack concert and it was fabulous other than the fact that Lars is an absolutely terrible drummer.
4) I have decided that all men are hopeless and I will now be a lesbian.
4 ½) Just kidding on #4—I just like to harbor the idea of lesbian lovers every now and then. Keeps things fresh and exciting. Unfortunately we all know (as it has been stated on here multiple times) I love the cock and will not be giving it up ever.

So what do you want to hear about? I won’t go into number 1; it seems pretty self-explanatory to me. Number 2 is exciting only to me and those who benefit directly from the hoped for increase in wages. Number 3 was going to be a blog topic, and might still, but not tonight. And number 4 is beaten into the ground. I mean honestly, how many times do any of you want to read me stating the obvious? As much as I love men they will never be as good in bed as my vibrator and I just need to accept that and stop trying to make trashy romance novels a reality. It just isn’t fair to anyone (me least of all).

So instead I will say this. I just drove through an absolutely horrific thunderstorm that turned a hour drive into a hour and forty-five minute drive. I am tired, cranky, and suffering from EBS (explosive bowel syndrome). I know you are all wincing over that last remark, but don’t play all high and mighty with me. We’ve all had a little EBS in our lives at some point or another so don’t act disgusted that I brought it up. So rather than me ranting on about something I have neither the energy nor the drive to rant on about I will begin the first of my new habit on my new template. I will leave you with a poem. Enjoy.

The Pope’s Penis

It hangs deep in his robes, a delicate
clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves, a ghostly fish in a
halo of silver seaweed, the hair
swaying in the dark and the heat—and at night,
while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.

~Sharon Olds