I love Madonna. I'm half tempted to end the post right there. But alas, it would go against the grain for me to be so short-winded!

I can tell you: I am never going to find a job. Never say never, I know, but even Fiefel (or however you spell the rat's name) didn't try to find employment with a Bachelor's in English and lots of experience with music. God love me, I'm all set to spout Shakespeare while pounding on a drum. The drama of my job is nothing compared to the drama of my apartment, however.

I have learned, by observing my roommate and her on again, off again boyfriend the merits of being single. I have also learned, by watching my other roommate, the beauty of love. Now there is a quandary for discussion. To love or not to love? Or better yet, lust versus love? With the beautiful invention of a light switch lust is so simple, easy and pain free. With the invention of the condom and oral contraceptive it can stay that way weeks later. I make no promises based on the skills of one's lover, hitting the wrong spot, nailing one's head against the headboard, etc. but theoretically it can be simple and pain free. If there is one thing I've learned in my tenure here at college it is that blunders will always be abundant, not matter what you do. Funny how that is only increased with alcohol intake...

Ah-ha, Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" has just come on, coincidence?

So (indulge me here) I have to wonder, what is it about men and women that makes us so dumb when it comes to dealing with each other? Or rather, with dealing with one we have romantic feelings for? Not even men and women, but men and men or women and women. It seems when two human beings are taken by each other's merits (whatever they might be) the brain ceases to function as it should. The skin thins, emotions replace logic, and everything means something. "Well he calls me every night" or "man, did you see the way she put her head on my shoulder?" or "oh, he hugged me!" or "why is she flirting with me so much?" It never stops. Communication no longer exists. Everyone has to walk on eggshells around the other; afraid they will upset their partner or say the wrong thing and come off as a dork. Who cares? Everyone's a dork in one way or another, and do you honestly want to be involved in a relationship where you can never say what you think? If you boyfriend/girlfriend/fuck-buddy is a raving lunatic shouldn't you be entitled to tell them? I recognize there is a significant amount of crazy women in the world; the one's with the butt the size of your thumb but they still think is fat. But, honestly, wouldn't you feel better if you could just tell them? And wouldn't they be better off for knowing they are crazy? Or (to be kind) some of their habits are crazy? As far as the males go, why can a female never tell you what is wrong without it being due to PMS and not your fault? Or if it is your fault it is somehow an attack on your manhood and we're simply trying to belittle you? If you start the relationship out with complete honesty it speeds things along while keeping everything clear. "Hey I like you." Why is that so frightening? If s/he says no you go on about your business and become friends (if possible). If s/he screams "ooh, gross!" you'll know s/he never graduated fourth grade and feel better about the rejection. I mean come on now, how many people missed the chance for happiness because they never grew the balls to just talk to each other? Not only in romance, but simple friendship! And here's a newsflash boys, just because a girl likes you does not mean she is going to jump your bones. If she's worth her spit she'll be more than content to be your friend and will support you in everyway. She isn't going to rape you while you sleep, stalk you and chase off perspective girlfriends. Sometimes you fellows have entirely too high an opinion of yourself (no offense).

I have to say this something that has been bothering me for quite some time. Now, I fully admit there are some people out there who just cannot handle it. You tell her the truth and she runs off in tears, great hiccupping sobs echoing back down the hall following her retreat. This philosophy won't work for her (or him) but it does alleviate a lot of life's little annoyances. Not to mention, if you know she (or he) can't handle life you are in a much better position to evaluate how much time (and effort) you want to devote to her (or him).

Wow, this has been one heck of a rant. How about menstruating huh? Sorry if that subject disgusts you. Get over it. That's a whole other rant right there. Why are bodily functions disgusting (disregarding the smell of course)? It's a fact of life, shit happens--literally. Bleeding happens and despite what the Bible says women are not "impure" during that time, nor the seven days following. I love God, the men that wrote the Bible is another story. I think this is a rant for another blog. I better leave you now before you never read me again.